Travels

I have been traveling recently and I'd like to reflect on a few thoughts that I have been contemplating about traveling alone. While I have most often had the company of another, I have had several days walking about, mostly on my own. There are many more reflections to be made about my travels, but I shall keep it to general musings for now.

Firstly, a good map is essential. In one city, I had a great map - in fact, I hardly ever felt lost or directionally confused. In another city, the map I used was vague and unspecified. I have had a very hard time enjoying my stay or feeling welcome when grappling with the navigational challenges.

Here's a few thoughts I wrote down while sitting at a cafe:

"I like traveling alone because more people talk to you. I met a man from who grew up just outside my hometown and one of the curators talked to me for several minutes suggesting things for me to see and places to eat. "

"While I will not show up in as many pictures of my travels since I'm alone - I have much more time for reflection. I can go at my own pace, sit when I like, drink when I like, write when I like. People talk to you and especially out here are incredibly friendly. They will look you in the eye and smile".

"Is it ever too early for gelato? The answer is no. Traveling by myself is quiet - I miss the push of motivation that group travel exerts. But by myself I'm a little lazier, a little more content with carving out a little spot to relax. It's true - I might not see as much but I do get to languish in the idea that it's never too early to enjoy coffee and gelato at 1:00pm in the afternoon."

I also realized the importance of a travel buddy, as I have had two that have accompanied me during various intervals. One was easy going, patient, relaxed and go-with-the-flow. The other was impatient, nervous, and all to eager to plan. My experience with the first was a much more pleasant experience that that of the second. Patience is key - understanding that mistakes are likely to occur while traveling and not hurrying for any particular reason will make the travel process more adventurous and enjoyable.

The Stuff at the End of the Night

Things. Stuff. Possessions.

We have them everywhere. We collect bits of things as we go. As we grow older we expand our space, thus our things expand with us. "Well, I really should have a small table to fill this space. It would be nice to have this cooking utensil. Since my last dvd player broke, I might as well get a new one". And it begins.

I realize that I used to pride myself on being able to fit my whole life in a car. I could pick up and go, if I really wanted. My life was a simple as a few suitcases and a couple of boxes. Somehow, that has changed.

I'm going to be moving soon, into a small space, and I look forward to adjust my lifestyle. Time to go back to the basics.

Life doesn't get easier with more stuff. It just serves as a placeholder. Trade in the stuff for stronger relationships. Start collecting interesting stories, instead of kitchen utensils. Don't buy the new dvd player, but close all the browser windows on your computer, pop in a dvd and cozy in with a friend.

At the end of the night, all the "stuff" doesn't mean you are richer or that it is somehow a comfort at the end of the day. It's better to love one thing that you use everyday, then barely care about the multitude of things that you hardly use or see.

Provoking the beast.

Is it ever fair to hurt someone in order to gain something for yourself? I ask myself this question as I think about my past actions and my own personal philosophy. I believe in giving. I'm a giver in almost all senses of the word. I like to cook in order to share with other people. I like to share stories in hopes of bringing others joy or education. I like to do favors because as much as it helps the other, it makes me feel good too.

Is there ever a time when giving reaches a threshold? I wonder about what I've given to someone else, in exchange for my own happiness. In some ways, it's a sacrifice to give someone happiness even though you're internally struggling. As a friend of mine said recently, "I can get over it. If I give that person the chance to be happy (like with someone else), then I've helped multiply the happiness". In some sense, isn't that what's it all about (and no, do not insert Hokey-Pokey joke here)?

On the contrary, recently another friend of mine asked me, "Aren't we deep down selfish beings?". I told him I don't believe we are. He claimed that in order to get what one wants, it likely involves hurting someone else. He wasn't meaning in a horrible way; He meant it in an awareness to the absence way. So, one has to know pain, before they appreciate health. One has to know sadness, before they appreciate the happiness... and, in his opinion, one has to know jealousy, before one appreciates the things already possessed. Bringing around that kind of awareness has to involve evoking and awaking a beast of another kind.

So which do I believe? I struggle to hurt others on the path to victory, while I realize that letting someone go may mean a sacrifice for myself. Philosophically, as a giver, I cannot condone using and hurting others as a means to get what I want -- even if it brings me the ultimate happiness. I cannot awake the beast of jealousy for my own needs. I leave that kind of action for the villains.

"But seeming so, for my peculiar end:

For when my outward action doth demonstrate

The native act and figure of my heart

In compliment extern, 'tis not long after

But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve

For daws to peck at: I am not what I am."

- Iago, Othello